


Enough

by malecnificenttyrus11



Category: Love Victor (TV 2020)
Genre: AU Fic, Angst!with a happy ending, Arguments, Confessions, Date Night Fail, Established Relationship, Movie Night, OTH inspired, Old photos, Venji - Freeform, guilty!benji, insecure!victor, rain kiss, soft boyfriends, victor makes a discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:28:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25381621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malecnificenttyrus11/pseuds/malecnificenttyrus11
Summary: Victor and Benji have been together for four amazing months, and Victor could honestly say he's never been happier. That is, until...he makes a shocking discovery during what was supposed to be an amazing date night...which brings out the insecurities that he'd tried to bury deep since they'd gotten together. Victor starts to think that maybe he isn't enough for Benji. Will Benji be able to convince him that it isn't the case?
Relationships: Victor Salazar/Benji Campbell
Comments: 6
Kudos: 128





	Enough

"So..." Benji says as he walks into his bedroom, hand intertwined with Victor's as he pulls him in behind him, "What did you want to do tonight?"

Victor shrugs, "It's up to you. Although...I'm _kind of_ in a watch-a-movie-and-cuddle kind of mood tonight."

Benji turns around to face him, smiling, "That sounds perfect. What genre are you feeling...horror, comedy, sci-fi, _rom-com_?"

They are both silent for a moment, communicating with their eyes.

"Rom-com." They say simultaneously, laughing.

Benji releases Victor's hand, walking towards his desk to grab his laptop. Victor sits down on the edge of Benji's bed, biting his lip as he watches Benji maneuvering around.

He turns around, raising an eyebrow, "What are you doing?"

Victor furrows his eyebrows, "What do you mean?"

"You're staring at me..." Benji points out, a teasing smile on his lips.

Victor leans back onto his hands, "So? Am I not allowed to stare at my _incredibly-sexy_ boyfriend?" 

Benji smirks, walking towards Victor. He tosses the laptop aside on the bed, moving to stand directly in front of him.

"You could stare, but..." he pauses, leaning down so his face is closer to Victor's, lowering his voice, "Wouldn't you _much rather_ kiss me?"

Victor pretends to be deep in thought, stroking his chin in contemplation. Benji raises an eyebrow in amusement, laughing softly.

He looks up to meet Benji's eyes, "You're right. I'd _much_ rather kiss you." 

He reaches up to wrap his arms around Benji's neck, pulling him down to connect their lips together. Benji climbs into Victor's lap...straddling him. He gently pushes Victor back onto the bed, deepening the kiss.

After a few minutes, Victor pulls away from the kiss, forehead resting against Benji's.

"As much as I would _love_ to continue this...I think there's a rom-com calling our names." Victor breathes out.

Benji laughs breathlessly, sitting up, "Right, yeah...we just got _extremely_ sidetracked."

"I'm not complaining..." Victor laughs.

"Me either." Benji says, biting his lower lip as he eyes Victor up-and-down.

He climbs off of Victor's lap, standing up from the bed and straightening out his clothes, running a hand through his slightly-disheveled hair.

Victor eyes him up-and-down, his heart racing rapidly in his chest. He wants nothing more than for Benji to return to the spot in his lap... for them to get much more sidetracked than they just did.

He wants nothing more than to rip Benji's clothes off of his body and cover every inch of his perfect body with his hands...to feel the warmth of his skin and the steady pace of his heartbeat pressed up against him.

But it had been four months since they'd gotten together, and they haven't gone that far. They've done some things, but not... _that_.

It wasn't like Victor didn't want to take it to the next level, because trust me... _he did_ \---I mean, he spent several torturous months pining after Benji, trying to fight the growing attraction that he felt towards him---

He wanted nothing more, but he'd only recently come out...and was still adjusting to the whole...being gay thing.

The only other 'relationship' that he'd been in was with Mia, and he gained no experience from that because, obviously, he wasn't attracted to her. So, being in a real, authentic relationship where there was physical attraction present was still fairly new to Victor.

Benji was patient with him...never putting any pressure on him to do anything he wasn't ready for. He appreciated that, and it only made his feelings for Benji grow exponentially stronger.

Victor is pulled out of his thoughts by Benji's voice.

"So...how about _you_ pick the movie, and _i'll_ go downstairs and get us some concessions." Benji suggests.

Victor smiles, nodding his head, "Sounds good to me."

Benji walks back over to him, pressing a quick kiss to his lips before turning to walk towards the bedroom door.

"Hey...make sure that you bring back some-" Victor starts, but Benji cuts him off.

"Sour patch kids. I know...I stocked up on them after our last movie night." 

Victor smiles, "Have I told you lately that you're the _best_ boyfriend in the world?"

Benji pauses by the door, turning around to grin at him, "Yes...but I wouldn't mind hearing it more often, I still have an ego to feed."

Victor rolls his eyes fondly, shaking his head. He turns to grab Benji's laptop, pausing when Benji speaks up again.

"Hey...make sure that you pick-" 

Victor cuts him off, "The _cheesiest_ netflix rom-com I can find?" he guesses.

Benji nods, "I'll try, but I'm almost certain we've watched _all_ of the cheesiest rom-coms netflix has to offer."

Benji barks out a laugh, and Victor smiles fondly at him...he really had the most contagious, beautiful laugh.

He walks out of the room, leaving Victor alone. Victor grabs Benji's laptop, settling it in his lap and opening it.

Victor smiles when he sees the background on Benji's laptop---it's a photo that they took one night at Brasstown after their shifts. Victor is standing in front of Benji, who is sitting behind him on the counter. His arms are wrapped around Victor's neck...him pressing a kiss to Victor's cheek. Victor has one hand resting on Benji's arm...a bright grin on his face.

This was one of Victor's favorite photos, because they just looked so genuinely happy. It was the perfect representation of their relationship...of the love that he felt for Benji.

He scrolls through the recent-files folder in search of Netflix...pausing when he sees a photo album folder labeled with an infinity sign.

Victor furrows his eyebrows in confusion. He moves the cursor to rest on top of the folder, biting the inside of his cheek as he debates whether or not to click on it.

He knows that it would be wrong to go through Benji's computer, especially without his permission. That was an invasion of privacy, and a line that Victor wasn't sure he wanted to cross.

_Maybe it was an album of their photos together---_ the thought makes his heart swell.

His curiosity gets the best of him, and he finds himself clicking the file open before he has a chance to reconsider. 

His eyes widen as they scan the screen, which is covered in hundreds, maybe even thousands, of photos of Benji and Derek.

Victor feels his heart sink in his chest. He puts his cursor over the exit button, wanting to close the folder and pretend that he never found it.

He hesitates...knowing that he can't pretend this folder doesn't exist. It would bother him more if he didn't just acknowledge it.

He hesitantly scrolls through the photos...trying to ignore the way his heart shatters the further into the album he goes.

_There's a photo of Benji kissing Derek, their bodies pressed flush together...Benji smiling against his lips._

_A photo of Benji grinning at the camera, Derek stood behind him with his arms wrapped around Benji's waist...kissing his neck._

_Another photo is of Derek and Benji laying down together shirtless, Benji's head laying on his chest with an arm wrapped around his waist...his face very clearly flustered and hair disheveled._

_And then...several shirtless selfies of Derek._

Victor feels his stomach turn, a sudden, overwhelming wave of nausea hitting him. He shoves the laptop off of his lap, averting his gaze to the ground.

His lower lip starts wobbling, and he bites down onto it as he fights back the tears threatening to fall.

Benji still had photos of him and his ex-boyfriend together on his computer...not just photos...but _intimate_ photos.

Victor doesn't know what to make of his discovery, and whether-or-not he should be upset over it. The logical side of him is telling him that Benji simply forgot they were there...not caring enough to go out of his way to search for them and get rid of them.

_He couldn't stop his mind...his insecurities, however, from drifting into dangerous and uncharted territory._

_What if Benji knew the photos were still there? If he did...was he looking at them? Was he looking at them because he was getting bored in his relationship with Victor...which was lacking significantly in the intimacy department?_

_Did he want to get back together with Derek?_

Victor slides back onto the bed until his back hits the wall, pulling his legs up against his chest and wrapping his arms around them, letting his head fall back against the wall.

He feels like he's back in the hallway of that motel in Willacoochie, just as heartbroken, confused, and _hopeless_ as he'd been then. He closes his eyes tightly...a tear falling down his cheek.

~

A few minutes later, Benji walks back into the room...arms full of various snacks that he'd prepared for their movie.

"Okay, so I've got our popcorn with extra-butter, just how you like it...and-" Benji's voice trails off, frowning when he looks at Victor.

He sets the popcorn and snacks down onto his desk, turning to walk over towards Victor. He sits down on the edge of the bed, gently resting his hand on Victor's knee.

Victor flinches away from his touch, and a pained expression finds its way onto Benji's face.

" _Hey_...is everything okay?" Benji asks.

Victor slowly looks up to meet his eyes, and Benji feels his heart shatter.

"Vic...hey, have you been crying? What happened?"

He instinctively reaches forward to swipe away the tears from under Victor's eyes, but Victor flinches away from his touch again.

Victor clenches his jaw, closing his eyes, "You told me that you were okay with us not having sex yet. That you didn't need it to be happy."

Benji furrows his eyebrows, "I did." he says slowly.

"Did you lie to me?" Victor whispers.

Benji shakes his head, "Of course not, Victor. I meant what I said...I'm in no rush for us to take things to the next level."

Victor sighs, looking down at his lap.

"Where is this coming from?" Benji asks, voice laced with confusion and hurt.

He doesn't answer, instead grabbing the laptop and turning it around, pushing it across the bed towards Benji.

Benji shoots him a confused look, lifting the laptop into his lap and opening it...eyes scanning the screen.

He frowns, eyes darting between the photos and Victor.

"Victor, I-" Benji starts, but Victor cuts him off.

"Do you want to get back together with Derek?" Victor asks quietly, voice cracking.

Benji's eyes widen, and he immediately tosses the laptop aside, "What?! No! Why would you even ask me that?" 

Victor bites the inside of his cheek, trying to collect his thoughts.

"I've been worried for awhile now, about you not being happy with me. I know you told me that you're fine without the whole... _sex_ thing, but I couldn't help but think that you'll eventually get tired of me." Victor explains.

He sighs, "And then...I find these pictures of you and Derek, and you looked so... _happy_. And I wonder if I'm even... _enough_ , for you."

Benji frowns, "Victor..."

Victor shakes his head, sliding off of the bed and walking to create some distance between them.

He keeps his gaze on the ground, unable to look Benji in the eyes, "Derek was your first boyfriend, your first... _everything_. You were together for a year. How am I supposed to even _compare_ to that, Benji?"

Benji stands up from the bed, "You don't have to compare to that, Victor. Because you are different."

Victor nods, "I know. And I think that's the problem."

Benji furrows his eyebrows, "I...don't understand."

He takes a deep breath, "Benji...you are the first person I've ever felt this way about. The first person that I gave my heart to. You made me... _feel_ , for the _first time_ in my life."

"I gave you my heart... _me_. But...I can't give you what you need, or deserve. I can't be enough for you. And that isn't fair to you." Victor confesses. 

Benji is silent for a moment, "Victor, I-"

"I think I should go." he whispers, turning to walk towards the door.

Benji stands frozen in his spot, eyes welling up with tears, "Victor, wait... _please_ don't go."

Victor freezes in the doorframe, back still turned to Benji, "I'm sorry, Benji."

Before Benji can find his voice...find the words to try and make him stay, Victor disappears into the hallway...the front door slamming shut shortly after.

Benji slumps down onto the bed, dropping his head into his hands and pulling at his hair in frustration. He lets out a shaky breath, tears rolling down his cheeks.

_He messed up...big time, and he didn't know how he was going to fix it._

~

Victor finds himself unable to fall asleep that night, mind still reeling from the events that transpired between him and Benji.

He feels a dull ache settle in his chest, the urge to reach out to Benji stronger than ever.

He loves Benji, so much that it hurts. But he knows that him loving Benji isn't enough...that he isn't enough. He can't give Benji what he deserves, and it isn't fair for him to keep dragging Benji down with him.

Benji deserves to be happy with someone that can give him every part of themselves. And he knows that he isn't that person at this point.

_It breaks his heart._

Victor closes his eyes, trying to push the painful thoughts out of his mind...but he can't get rid of the images of Derek and Benji, the pain that he felt when he saw them.

Before he knows it...it's the morning, and he hadn't slept at all. 

He looks a mess, eyes bloodshot and hair disheveled...dark circles under his eyes. Unironically, he feels even worse than he looks.

Victor decides that there's no way he can face Benji at school, or work...so he convinces his parents that he isn't feeling well---it didn't really take much convincing, since he looked like he got run over by a bus---and they agree to let him stay home.

He spends the majority of the day laying in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. He hasn't heard from Benji since he'd left his house the previous night, and while part of him is grateful, another part of him is hurt...

_Hurt by the reality that Benji may have realized that Victor's words were true...that he figured out that Victor wasn't enough for him._

Victor decides that he needs to take his mind off of everything, so he forces himself out of bed...deciding to take a walk to clear his head.

He walks out of the apartment building and onto the sidewalk, no destination in mind...just the desire to get as far away from his all-consuming thoughts as possible.

~

After a restless night, Benji decides that there's no way he can force himself to go to either school or work.

He calls Sarah to let her know that he won't make it in. As usual, she gives him a lecture and an earful that is especially unwelcome today, and then proceeds to tell him that Victor also called out of work.

Benji is hit with a sudden wave of guilt. 

She tells him that she knows something is going on between the two of them---since they both never call out of work, and especially never miss an opportunity to spend the day together working side-by-side--- and to figure it out before her coffee shop goes out of business because she lost her two best baristas.

Although she is being dramatic, as per usual, Benji knows that she is right. He needs to figure out how to fix the situation.

_He needs to fight for Victor...to let him know that he is more than enough for Benji, and that he means more to him than he even knows._

_He needs to tell him that he loves him._

After spending a good portion of his day laying around, he forces himself to get up and attempts to fix his disheveled appearance.

He decides to take a walk to clear his head...no destination in mind. It seems that his feet instinctively know where to go, since he looks up a short time later and sees exactly where they carried him---Victor's apartment building.

A part of him is telling him that this is a bad idea...that he needs to turn around and give Victor space. But another part of him is telling him to stay.

He decides to listen to that part of him, walking over to the stairs and sitting down. He zones out as he tries to muster up the courage to walk into the apartment building.

A voice pulls him out of his thoughts...although its not the voice he wants to hear.

"Benji?"

Benji turns around, seeing Felix walking out of the apartment building and towards him. He forces a smile, nodding at him.

"What are you doing here, man?" Felix asks, sitting down beside him on the steps.

He's silent for a moment, "Uh...I sort of came here to talk to Victor."

Felix furrows his eyebrows, "Then why aren't you inside?"

"We kind of...had a fight last night. And I'm not sure he wants to talk to me." Benji explains, voice quiet.

Felix frowns, "What was it about...if you don't mind me asking."

"It's a long story but uh...Victor found some old photos of me and Derek on my computer and, understandably, got upset." 

Felix nods slowly, processing Benji's words. 

"He's worried that I'm getting bored of him, because we havent..." his voice drifts off, and he gestures with his hands, "you know..."

He looks down at the ground, fidgeting with his hands, "And he thinks that he isn't good enough for me. That I want to get back together with Derek."

Felix shoots him a sympathetic look, "That's...a lot..." he breathes out, "Look, man. Don't take this the wrong way but, I'm Victor's bestfriend, so I'm protective over him."

Benji nods in understanding, gesturing for him to continue.

"You're probably expecting me to lecture you about still having those photos of you and your ex, but...I'm not going to."

Benji's eyes widen, turning to look at Felix, "What?"

Felix sighs, "Benji, I'm Victor's bestfriend, but...I'm also _your_ friend. I've known you for a long time, and I know that those photos mean nothing to you...because you love Victor."

Benji lets out a sigh of relief, nodding his head.

"Yeah...I do," Benji whispers, shifting his gaze down towards the ground, "And I don't want to lose him...I _can't_."

Felix rests a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly.

"Then you need to tell him that. Victor loves you, too. He'll understand." Felix says.

Benji offers him a small smile, "Thanks, Felix."

Felix nods, standing up from his spot on the steps.

"I don't think Victor is home right now...I saw him leave a while ago. But...you should stay." 

Benji nods, "I will."

Felix smiles, sending him a thumbs up for good luck...turning around to walk back towards the entrance of the building.

Benji adjusts his position on the steps, leaning back and folding his hands in his lap...knee bouncing up-and-down nervously.

He glances up at the sky, eyes widening when he sees the dark storm clouds approaching. He isn't worried about getting caught in the rain...all he's worried about is Victor. 

After what feels like an eternity of waiting on the stairs outside of Victor's apartment building...the rain starts to fall, quickly intensifying.

Benji's hair gets soaked, flattening down against his forehead. The rain soaks through his clothes, making them cling uncomfortably to his skin. He shivers, wrapping his arms around himself and pulling his leather jacket closer to him. 

He puts his head down, blinking back the raindrops---or tears...at this point he can't distinguish between the two---from his eyes.

A few minutes go by, and Benji hears footsteps approaching him. He doesn't lift his gaze to look at whoever it is...knowing that he'll be disappointed seeing anyone that isn't his boyfriend.

"Benji?" A soft voice calls out over the rain.

Benji immediately looks up, eyes widening when he sees Victor. He stands up from his spot on the steps, slowly walking down.

"What are you doing out here? You're soaked." Victor says, eyeing him up-and-down.

Benji shrugs, "I went for a walk to clear my head...and I guess I ended up here."

Victor sighs, looking down at the ground and going to walk past Benji.

"Victor, wait... _please_." Benji pleads, stepping in front of him and holding out a hand.

He stops, crossing his arms over his chest and keeping his eyes focused on the ground.

"I came here to apologize to you." Benji admits, running a hand through his hair.

Victor looks up to meet his eyes, staying silent. Benji takes this as a sign to continue talking.

"Look, Vic...I need you to believe me when I tell you that those photos of Derek don't mean anything to me..." Benji says.

Victor frowns, "Well they do to _me_..." he whispers, "It's obvious that you still have feelings for him, or that you miss what the two of you had...what he gave you that I can't."

Benji shakes his head, "Victor...I haven't looked at those photos since before we broke up. I honestly forgot that they were even there."

He sighs, "I don't still have feelings for him, nor do I want to get back together with him. I told you before that he made me feel anxious...that he always put me down."

Victor shifts his gaze to the ground, face falling.

"If the photos didn't mean anything to you, then why didn't you tell me that yesterday?" He asks pointedly.

Benji is silent for a moment, "I tried, but you wouldn't give me a chance to. I know that I should've reached out last night..."

Victor nods, "Why didn't you?"

"Because...I felt guilty, okay? I felt so guilty, and I didn't know what to say because I didn't have a good enough explanation. I should've deleted those photos a long time ago." Benji explains.

Victor pushes his hair out of his face, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"But, Vic..." Benji breathes out, taking a few steps closer, "I don't want Derek. I want you...I've _always_ wanted you."

He slowly looks up to meet Benji's eyes, "Is that it?" 

"You know...my pride is saying yeah, that's it. Just walk away and let Victor continue to worry about our lack-of-a-sexual relationship making him feel like he's not enough for me." Benji says.

He takes another step forward, "But my _heart_ is saying...forget about your pride, you idiot. Because...you love this boy more than you've ever loved anyone."

Victor's eyes widen, "You... _love_ me?" he asks, voice laced with disbelief.

Benji laughs softly, nodding, "I do."

He runs a hand through his hair, "And even if I end up catching pneumonia...my ass is going to stand out here in the rain until I can convince you to forgive me..." he pauses, "convince you that you're _more than enough_ for me."

Victor is silent, eyes darting around as he processes Benji's words. He looks down at the ground, biting the inside of his cheek.

"Please, Vic...just...meet me halfway here?" Benji pleads, blinking the raindrops from his eyes.

Victor slowly shifts his gaze up from the ground to meet Benji's eyes, "Why should I?"

Benji walks forward again, cautiously reaching out to grab Victor's hand...interlocking their fingers together.

He lets out a breath of relief when Victor doesn't flinch away from his touch, hope blossoming in his chest.

"Because I'm sorry, because...I _love_ you." 

He watches the ghost of a smile appear on Victor's lips.

"And because...you're looking _really_ sexy standing out in this rain and, if this were some cheesy rom-com movie...this would be the part where I kissed you." Benji teases, smirking. 

Victor runs a hand through his hair, laughing softly as a blush appears on his cheeks.

"Well...if you _have_ to." Victor says dramatically, smirking at him.

Benji lets out a breath of relief, walking forward and cradling Victor's face in his hands...stroking his cheek softly with the pad of his thumb.

Victor leans into the touch, reaching up a hand to grab Benji's wrist...the other falling down to his waist.

Benji glances down at Victor's lips, and then back up to meet his eyes. He leans up to close the distance between them, pressing their lips together. 

Victor moves his hand from Benji's wrist to rest it in his hair, pulling it slightly as he deepens the kiss. Benji slides his hands down to rest on Victor's lower back, pulling him flush against him.

They pull apart seconds later, foreheads resting together.

Victor pulls back to look into Benji's eyes, running a hand through his hair and resting it against his cheek.

"I love you, too." Victor breathes out, and Benji smiles.

He leans up to press his lips against Victor's again...Victor smiling against his lips before melting into the kiss.

They continue to stand there kissing in the rain for what seems like an eternity, not caring about how their clothes were soaked through from the rain, or how they would inevitably catch colds. 

_All they cared about was the fact that they loved eachother, and that was enough._

_They were enough._


End file.
